Quick Tips For Giving Yourself Credit:
- It helps you to stay motivated. Motivation gets drained when you expect too much of yourself too quickly, when you beat yourself up, and when you compare yourself to people who are further along. Giving yourself credit helps you recognize what you are doing right. It helps you stay motivated to keep going rather than giving up prematurely.
- It’s more effective if you start small. When you’re trying something new or something that doesn’t come easily to you, make sure that you are giving yourself credit for the things you’re doing well, no matter how small they seem. Actually, the smaller the better, especially when you’re trying to get yourself to learn something new. Even it seems silly because it’s so small.
- It gets easier with practice. If you’re not used to it, you might feel uncomfortable doing it. That’s okay. Giving yourself credit is a muscle that strengthens with practice.
I see this all of the time. People trying new things or things that don’t come easily to them, and giving themselves a really hard time because their expectations don’t match up with the reality. They think they should be doing it better, but the reality is they are doing just fine given where they are.
The problem is that when you focus on what you’re doing wrong, it makes it harder for you to keep going, and you’re more likely to give up before you get competent or skilled enough so that it starts becoming fun.
I’m also guilty of expecting too much of myself.
I recently became a member of a local Crossfit gym, and even though I’ve consciously told myself to give myself credit for just going to class regularly (my goal is to go three times a week, and if I get in four times I consider it a bonus!) and listening to my body so that I don’t get injured by overworking it, I still find that I’m beating myself up at times.
It happens when I notice that I’m the only one in the class with no extra weight on my barbell or that I’m still only half-way through completing the timed Workout of the Day (WOD) when three-quarters of the class is already done and resting on the floor. At the these times, I have to really remind myself that just showing up and doing it is huge for me, and that as long as I keep coming back and working on my fitness and technique I will keep improving, and more importantly, continue feeling stronger and gaining confidence in what I am capable of.
There’s really no point in comparing myself to others who have been doing it longer and who have different body types, goals and athletic backgrounds.
It’s more helpful and motivating for me to stay focused on myself and what I’m doing right.
If you’re having trouble convincing yourself that it’s okay to focus on what’s going right, don’t fret. You can still focus on all of the ways you’re not measuring up!
Just try as well to balance your thinking by giving yourself credit for the things that you’re doing right or somewhat right.
If you’re not used to doing it, the practice of giving yourself credit can be hard.
It can be challenging to come up with things that you you did well. When you’re just starting, you may feel like you’re searching for a needle in a haystack.
Here’s the good news. The more you practice it, the easier and more automatic the habit becomes. Giving yourself credit is a muscle and it strengthens with practice.
So start now, and of course, give yourself credit for practicing!
Below is a business scenario that illustrates how you can give yourself credit.
Scenario that’s causing you to beat yourself up:
You connected with three clients this week and none of them signed up for your service. You’ve taken this hard and you’ve been running through the conversations in your head, worrying about the parts where you may have come across as awkward or not articulated yourself as well as you would have liked. You are beating yourself up for not appearing more self-assured or confident. You’re feeling burned out, and you dread having to call more people next week and end up feeling rejected and awkward again.
Here’s how you can give yourself credit:
Think about the situation and things that you did right. Maybe you:
Prepared for the conversations by learning more about the people beforehand. If that’s the case, you can give yourself credit for being prepared. You did your homework and showed up prepared. That’s not a given. You can give yourself credit for that.
Focused on listening to the other person in the conversation. You stayed present, and you focused on hearing what they had to say. Give yourself credit for listening. Listening is such an important skill and one that can be difficult to do!
Stayed true to yourself and what you offer, and so you didn’t try to sell the potential clients services that didn’t fit what they needed. You deserve to give yourself credit for that. You were watching out for them and you were also being true to yourself and what you offer. That’s so important.
Realized that the rejection wasn’t personal, even if it brought up some shitty feelings. It just wasn’t what the potential client needed at this time. The fact that you recognized that it wasn’t personal is huge. Give yourself credit for that. It means that you’re growing. The better you get at this, the more easily you’ll be able to bounce back and keep moving forward.
You’ve got this!
