I know I could use some help in several areas of my business.
Yet, I’ve been holding off. When I think about them, I notice that I begin feeling anxious and that the butterflies start flapping in my belly.
For example, I’d like to hire a virtual assistant for 4 or 5 hours a month to help with posting these blog posts, graphics, and videos onto my website.
Money, for sure, and not wanting to pay other people to do things that I can do myself, definitely keeps me from hiring more things out.
However, I notice that my hesitance to move forward in obtaining help is connected to other challenges. Like when I start to think about hiring a virtual assistant, I think about all of the work connected to finding the right person and figuring out the pay. I also start reflecting on what exactly it is that I need help with.
Suddenly I feel overwhelmed with having to show someone else what I want them to do, and I wonder if it’s really worth it.
You see, I’m realizing that asking for help, even paid help, isn’t as simple as 1-2-3. It involves a number of logistical, organizational, and communication steps. Our emotions absolutely play a role and impact that process.
Asking for help is a process.
Step 1:
First, we have to become aware that we’re struggling in a certain part of our business or life, and then acknowledge that we want or need help. When I say struggling, this is what I mean:
We may not have the time to do it. We may not want to do it. We may not be good at doing it. We may not know how to do it. We may not have the expertise and skills needed to do it. Ultimately, it may not be worth our time to do it.
Step 2:
Second, we have to identify what kind of help we need.
For example, maybe there’s a challenging project that we need to tackle in our business. The way to make it happen may be to hire more child care after school so that we have a few more dedicated and distraction-free hours in the afternoons to focus on the project.
In this case, we know what we need to do, we’re the right person to do it, but we lack the time necessary to get it done.
Step 3:
Third, we have to make ourselves available to the help we’re asking for.
If I decide to hire a virtual assistant, I need to be willing to set aside time to figure out the tasks I want him or her to do and to create systems to do it. This may mean creating protocols with timelines or going on Loom to create videos documenting the step-by-step process to creating graphic and how I expect them to look.
Initially, asking for help takes more work on our part. It’s akin to going through your house on the morning before your cleaning person is scheduled to come in and picking things up off the floor and clearing the counter spaces.
It’s wonderful to have someone clean your house, but not if you’re someone who perceives picking up beforehand as a hassle.
Step 4:
Finally, and most importantly, we have to come to terms with the emotions that get triggered when we ask for help.
Maybe we grew up in a family that valued DIY. No matter what got broken in the house, you never saw a handyman, plumber, or electrician walk through the door. You learned to figure out how to fix things, no matter how long it took and whether or not you had the immediate skills or expertise to solve it.
Or perhaps you grew up in a family where your parents rarely took time for themselves. They didn’t make time to exercise or go on a date night, so why should you? They would never have thought of hiring someone to clean their house twice a month.
So when the thought occurs to you–even though it would be a much better use of your time to get work done rather than do the deep cleaning–you feel guilty and overindulgent and push it away.
To recognize that we can’t do it all–and that even if we can, it may not make sense to try–is a process.
It’s a process in awareness and acceptance, and also in organization and preparation. It involves weighing priorities, looking at budgets, and having plans.
But, here’s the thing:
It’s worth it.
